Friday the 13th Part 2

The body count continues...

Year of Release: 1981
Genre: Horror
Rated: R
Running Time: 87 minutes (1:27)
Director: Steve Miner


Amy Steel ... Ginny Field
John Furey ... Paul Holt
Adrienne King ... Alice Hardy
Kirsten Baker ... Terry
Stuart Charno ... Ted
Warrington Gillette ... Jason Voorhees
Walt Gorney ... Crazy Ralph
Marta Kober ... Sandra Dier
Tom McBride ... Mark
Bill Randolph ... Jeffrey
Lauren-Marie Taylor ... Vickie
Russell Todd ... Scott
Betsy Palmer ... Mrs. Pamela Voorhees


Just when you thought it was safe to go back to camp... here's even more heart-pounding terror.

Five years after the horrible bloodbath at Camp Crystal Lake, all that remains is the legend of Jason Voorhees and his demented mother, who had murdered seven camp counselors. At a nearby summer camp, the new counselors are unconcerned about the warnings to stay away from the infamous site. Carefree, the young people roam the area, not sensing the ominous lurking presence. One by one, they are attacked and brutally slaughtered.


Friday the 13th Part 2, the movie that reminds us that if you misplace your hockey mask an all you've got to wear to cover up your facial deformities is a pillowcase, at least cut two eye holes. Ever try goin' on a murder spree with no depth perception? That sorta oversight can end your mayhem real quick if your would be cadaver gets ahold of a power saw or somethin'. You probably already know who enjoys this one, since they pretty much just made the same movie six times in a row before they decided to slightly modify the formula around the time they did Part VII. So I'll take the unpopular stance an run down who doesn't like it. Bears don't like it. This head counselor guy thinks that cause one time his car broke down on the highway an he had to pee behind a bush while he waited for the tow truck that he's an expert on the outdoors. So he's sittin' on these wooden steps tryin' to act like they're not givin' his candy ass a rash the size of Mongolia, tellin' the female counselors about how they don't wanna wear perfume an that they've gotta be extra hygienic when their nether regions start leakin' like a 1977 International Scout that got a tent pole rammed through its oil pan or else it'll attract bears. Bears resent that. Much like men, perfume burns their eyes, makes 'em dizzy, an most important, makes 'em worry about just what the heck kinda smell the woman's tryin' to conceal. An contrary to what the great white huntard may say, bears think that twat rot stanks just as much as everybody else does. So while I'd still encourage everyone to watch the movie cause it's historically significant cinematically speaking, just don't put much Preferred Stock in what this guy says, is all I'm sayin'. Alright, so, as the best Friday the 13th movie to feature Jason wearin' his underwear on his head... alright I hear you snickerin'. You think that just cause it's the same movie as the first one that there's nothin' new to learn here. See, it's that kinda attitude that really leaves me with no choice BUT to do these reviews even though I ain't gettin' paid. I swear, sometimes you people just make me sick with pity, ya know that? Lets just get on with this, now pay attention. First, don't think that just cause you're 30 miles from the nearest indoor plumbing that you can jaywalk across old two tracks right in front of the law. They will chase you to your dilapidated shack and attempt to throw you in the crossbar hotel.

Second, when they reach your hovel, they don't even knock. What if Jason was inside with a copy of the Sears Roebuck catalog flipped to the lingerie section nekkid as the day God made 'em? Cops don't care. There's some serious inequality goin' on in this country with this kinda stuff, cause you know they didn't just kick in the door on the president of Enron when he got caught ruinin' the lives of his shareholders. No. They knocked, waited for the maid to rouse him, took off their shoes when they came inside an acted like they were really inconvenincin' the guy. Home is where you hang your machete, period. An that hole is home for Jason. So I think a little more respect is due, alright officer? I don't wanna have to bring this up again. An third, at least if all your counselors are bangin' each other, the kids aughta be safe. But I've gotta say, I was thoroughly appalled within the first 15 minutes of this movie. If you're gonna keep severed heads, the top rung of the fridge is NOT the place. Any idiot knows the meat goes on the bottom so it don't leak all over the tater tot casserole, but not only that, the head doesn't even have any Saran wrap on it. Know what happens to severed heads that sit in the fridge without any plastic barriers? MOLD. That's what. Don't ask me how I know all this, an quit tryin' to get off subject, this is important. This ain't about me, it's about educatin' the masses. Now, on top of that, if you're not gonna boil the meat off your severed head anytime soon, don't put the goll durn thing in the FRIDGE at all. There's this little square compartment up top that's noticeably colder that's probably got Swanson TV dinners an maybe a dead weasel inside. That's where the head goes. An for cripes sake make sure you put it in a turkey bag or, lacking that, stretch a condom over it an tie it off so it don't get freezer burnt. If you've ever taken a bite of freezer burnt Risorius muscle you know what I'm talkin' about. I can't believe I have to keep goin' over this kinda stuff but if I give up, I'm no better'n these people that keep puttin' terrible ideas into people's heads.

The movie begins with some punk kid ruinin' his best church shoes in a mud puddle til his Mom sticks her head out the door an tells 'im if those shoes embarrass her in front of the congregation she's gonna make 'im convert to Hinduism, since they don't wear shoes anyway. With the fear of Ganesh put into 'im, the kid takes off, but only moments later a much bigger, much angrier foot splashes down in that same puddle an in case you missed the first movie, this foot don't have a mama no more an it's real upset about it. So for the next ten minutes, Alice, the soul survivor of the original movie rolls around on her bed makin' starvin' animal noises while she dreams about all the real good parts from the original for anyone that might've missed it. After awhile she feels the warm trickle of wee wee down her pant leg an figures she'd better quit relivin' her trauma for the time bein' an goes for the shower. Only her Mom calls her up an won't quit askin' her about when she's gonna get over this silly psychological devastation she's got an pump her out some grandbabies til Alice finally has to tell her she's a lesbian so she'll leave her alone. Then she hops in the shower an has to jerk the curtain open again an stare down the cameraman for oversteppin'. Then the phone rings again only nobody's on the other end an pretty quick she notices one of her windows is open so she heads for the kitchen to grab some Ginsurance an then her cat jumps in the window an screams about wantin' dinner right meow an seein' if it can't make her piss her pants again. So she goes to the fridge, an there, on the top rung, is Mrs. Pamela Voorhees' severed head. Never thought she'd have to look her in the eye again. Fortunately she doesn't have to do it for too long cause about that time Jason grabs ahold of her bangs an sends an ice-pick-manned mission into the depths of her temple. The following morning, a couple sweaty teenagers pull into Midnowhere, Connecticut an call up their temp agent (Ted) so they can get directions to their summer jobs, only while they're on the phone this big grease monkey backs up to their jacked up truck, attaches the hook, an drags the big bastard off while they try to catch up while wearin' thongs on their feet an shoutin' obscenities. They don't get too far though before they come around a corner where Ted's snickerin' like he's laced their birthday cake with Exlax an they have to dog pile on 'im til they've avenged the loss of their dignity. So then they all get in the truck an drive out to Camp Parentalrelief an the boss (Paul) calls everybody down so he can get their attention an feel like a big man for havin' everybody's attention.

After he drones on an on about how they're not prepared for a gaggle of snot nosed shit monsters an that they really aughta be ashamed for havin' not made anything of themselves by this point in their lives, his girlfriend (Ginny) finally shows up in her VW bug that sounds like the load bearin' duct tape is just about to give way. She's got a lotta 'splainin' to do, cause she was supposed to be here like forever ago an he had to talk to the other counselors without the benefit of havin' them know he can get an attractive blonde. She's real cute though, an real sorry so he heads back outside to point out the obvious to everyone for a couple more hours only he has to stop when she can't get the VW outta the stationary position. You'd think they'd be used to this by now cause VW Beetles are so unreliable most of the time you've gotta push 'em home offa the showroom floor, but she's just screwin' with 'im tryin' to get 'im to look in her trunk so she can rev it up an make 'im look like a firefighter that was on the scene on 9/11. That evening, Paul gathers everyone around the camp fire an tells scary stories about Jason an where their lives are headed til everyone's about ready to pee themselves at which point Ted jumps out dressed like Ringo Starr in Caveman an dances around with a spear til everybody wants to put his head in the wood splitter. Once the campfire breaks up everybody heads inside to pair off for character identification. We've got the two chunkheads that came with Ted; Sandra an Jeff, the incredible bulk (Mark, arm wrestlin' champion of Bendover, Delaware) an his head cheerleader (Vickie, she likes to watch Mark break everybody's arm at the clavicle), Scott (Who likes to skeev on Terry) an Terry (Who likes to pretend like she don't like Scott skeevin' on her). They're a pretty screwed up group of individuals, but then you've gotta be to take a job as a glorified babysitter an be willing to partake in the Summer of the Misery Monkies. So while Mark arm wrestles Scott til he starts makin' noises like he's tryin' to lift an El Dorado off his foot, Sandra an Jeff demonstrate for only the 10,472nd time in cinema history why white people shouldn't dance. It's all too much for Ginny, who soundly thrashes Paul at chess an goes to bed cause she can't stand the sight of the dancin' anymore. Unbeknownst to her, Crazy Ralph's come back to be in the sequel an to tell everybody he told 'em so, only he gets strangled while he's tryin' to check out Ginny's melons before he can even get two lines of dialog in. The next morning, everybody that's not confined to a wheel chair has to go for a jog and a nature hike. Although I think that if Mark's strong enough to bench press a Buick LeSabre he aughta have to run on his hands.

Of course, since they're vulnerable dopes out in the woods, you know somebody's watchin' every move they make an every step they take. An takin' a moment to stop an chuckle when they wipe their asses with poison oak. Later on when everyone else goes swimmin', Sandra makes Jeff take her to the other side of the lake so they can see the camp from the first movie, an since he's got arms the size of pretzel sticks an wears a beret, he pretty much has to cause frankly he can't do any better. So they wah wah wah wah wander around til the deputy catches 'em an drags 'em back to camp by their ears an tells Paul to quit makin' out with his assistant an keep an eye on the kids. An until the kids show up, to do somethin' about these two idiots that won't quit tresspassin'. So the deputy heads back towards town, only en route, he spots the world longjump champion gazelle'n his way across the road in front of 'im an has to get out an chase 'im down so he can verify the guy's got a permit for his pogo legs. Eventually he comes to what appears to be NRA headquarters an heads inside to see if he can get an assault rifle before it's too late, only the secretary seems to be out to lunch an the only help he can find is a surly fellow that plants the clawed end of a hammer right in the crown of his coconut. That evening, Paul tells everybody that tomorrow's the big day, so if they wanna go out an get good'n hungover so they can listen to little pukestains scream at the top of their lungs the next morning, this'll be their last chance. So Paul, Ginny an Ted take all the nameless counselors we've known not to pay any attention to into town so they can hang out at Porky's, while all the named characters stay behind for one reason or another. We know why they're stayin', they're stayin' so they can get mashed into meat pies for our amusement. Terry heads down to the lake since she's the best lookin' one there an so she'll have a reason to get nekkid, Jeff an Sandra go upstairs so Sandra can pole dance on Jeff's wangdoodle, an Mark frantically tries to get somebody to stay so Vickie'll at least have to relegate her sexual advances to below the table type stuff. Then Scott goes down to the lake an steals Terry's clothes while she's swimmin' cause that's really the best way to win the affection of a girl that's outta your league. He who holds the thong holds the power. Unfortunately, she don't think it's real funny an it don't take too long til the lack of blood in his brain becomes a detriment as he steps in a rope snare an starts swingin' around like Tarzan when he can't remember which way's up. That happens more often than you might think.

You'd expect her to get a good sized limb an beat the tar outta him, but like I said, she's only pretendin' not to like his stalkin', so she goes to get a knife to cut 'im down, only while she's gone the J-man comes by an leaves 'im lookin' like Helen Keller tried to give 'im a haircut. Shortly thereafter Terry returns, an those fuggin' censors cut out whatever happens next, though it's pretty safe to assume Jason didn't wanna style her hair. Back inside, Vickie wants to know why Mark's in the wheel chair an if his kickstand still works cause otherwise she's got devices that make him obsolete. Upstairs, Jeff's playin' the harmonica cause Sandra's takin' her clothes off an the harmonica's the most excitin' instrument he had on hand to really capture the mood. So Vickie goes to her tool box full of sexual aids, but she's bein' watched from outside the cabin. The stalker's probably just wondering what we're all wondering, namely, what's she even need that bra for? Back at the main cabin, Mark thinks he hears Vickie on the porch, only when he rolls out to investigate Jason mistakes 'im for a bamboo stalk an parts his hair with a machete til he rolls backwards down the stairs. This place really needs a wheel chair ramp, a guy could get hurt out here. With the guardian of the gate dispatched, Jason's now free to snatch up the spear from the Ringo Starr exhibition earlier an head upstairs. He's gotta go real slow though, cause this is the chance of a lifetime. Sandra an Jeff are makin' the sign of the hairy fisted howler monkey, so he creeps up real quiet like an... SHOONK! TWOFER! Just wait'll he tells... oh. Well now he's kinda depressed again. But anyway, Vickie comes in lookin' for Mark, cause upstairs seems like the most obvious place the guy in the wheel chair would be, only she finds Jason under the bed sheet instead an after he hamstrings her he backs her into a corner an carves her up like a jackolantern. So while Jason's strappin' his bag limit to the roof of his car, Ginny an Paul come back an find things slightly more amiss than they expected an neither of 'em can remember how to work a light switch as Jason grabs ahold of Paul an pounds all the fight out of 'im while Ginny heroically flees the scene. No door's gonna keep 'im from his murderin' though, an he pitchforks his way through her less than perfect sanctuary an out into her car. Only Jason can't seem to figure out he needs to stab into the DRIVER'S side an she eventually makes it back to a cabin an things really start to get interesting when she grabs a chainsaw an Jason gets this look on his pillowcase like maybe he aughta take up a career with less chance of total body dismemberment. But then the saw quits on her an she has to club 'im an run out into the woods like a hippy tryin' to save the rainforest. Will cut here so maybe you guys that ain't seen it'll go enrich your minds a little an check it out for yourselves.

Alrighty, what we've got here, regardless of what the IMDB thinks, an by thinks I really mean "claims" cause I don't expect much thought went into the rating of this movie, is a sequel which outdoes the original. Friday Part 2 cuts out all that whodunnit bullshit the original had an goes straight for the kitchen/farm implements of destruction. They're still pretty much the same movie, but this is the first in the series that you'd call a pure blooded slasher movie. The original's close, but there's too much mystery bunk in it muckin' it up. I know I reference the man every other review but he just sums things up so effectively. On the subject of the Friday the 13th series, Joe Bob Briggs had this to say: "But these Friday the 13th people know their sequels. These people don't just make up a new story. These people make the exact same movie." As you can imagine, Joe Bob was pretty upset about Halloween III around that time, which is what prompted that insightful commentary. There's something timeless about the Friday the 13th series, cause even though they're predictable and redundant, each one brought a little new innovation to the slasher subgenre. A new way to mutilate someone beyond all recognition. Sometimes it was repulsive, sometimes it was hilarious, an sometimes it really just made you stop an think, "what the heck's WRONG with these guys?" Each movie generally progresses the backstory on Jason a teenie tiny bit at a time as well, an although they've got 'im dressed up like the killer from The Town that Dreaded Sundown in this one cause nobody's been careless enough to leave the iconic hockey mask layin' around yet, just the fact that it's actually Jason, makes it better. You know who he is, you know what he's gonna do, you just don't know *how* or *when* he's gonna do it. Now I don't mean to make these movies sound completely mindless and easy to churn out every year, cause a whole helluva lot of studios tried to do what Paramount was doin' with the Friday the 13th series back then an they just couldn't seem to figure out how. Sure, those less polished slasher movies are still fun to watch, but the production values the Friday the 13th series had (And has, whether you'd consider the newer ones "good" or not, they do still have high production values) with a moderate budget is really what raises the series up above other slasher movies of the time, that might have been able to do as well if only they'd had a big studio backing the project. Even if it's one that snubs the series publicly an pockets the 20 million bucks the movie grosses when nobody's lookin'.

Okay, lets jam a spear in this beast, twist it around inside an see what clings to the handle. Plot's got a note on its desk that reads "out to lunch, back never." That's not entirely true, there's a couple really small snippets that they setup early as foreshadowing for the climax, but every movie's got that so I wouldn't really consider that a plot per se. Guy with sharp objects goes around turnin' everybody into Ragu Old World Style pasta sauce, that's your plot. And I'm okay with this. The acting it something else that really elevates these Friday the 13th movies above some of the other contenders in the slasher subgenre. It's not great by any stretch, but when you compare it to say, The Forest or Don't Go in the Woods, you get an idea of what poor acting actually is and that only makes movies like Friday 2 more enjoyable. It's not knock your socks off acting. But that's not important. The only thing that really matters is whether the acting is genuinely bad and detracts from your ability to take the movie seriously. And it's not an issue here. But anyway, here's who matters and why: Amy Steel (Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? 1991, April Fools Day), John Furey (Island Claws), Andrienne King (Friday the 13th, Silent Night Bloody Night: The Homecoming), Kirsten Baker (Please Don't Eat the Babies), Stuart Charno (Halloween 2011, Sleepwalkers, Christine), Warrington Gillette (Time Walker), Walt Gorney (Friday the 13th, Friday the 13th VII, Day of the Animals, King Kong 1976), Marta Kober (Slumberparty Massacre III, Neon Maniacs), Russell Todd (Chopping Mall, He Knows You're Alone), Betsy Palmer (Friday the 13th, The Fear: Resurrection), Cliff Cudney (The Nesting), Jaime Perry (Jacob's Ladder). No big genre actors, but it may be the only movie in the series to bring back any actors from previous entries in the series, and if it's not the only movie to do it, it certainly does it with more of them than any others, having brought back 3 characters from the first movie, if only for a short time in all three cases.

The special effects are pretty great, even though the MPAA forced 'em to pretty much entirely cut out the scene where Jason shish-kabobs Bill Randolph and Marta Kober. Strangely, there's a still on the back cover of the VHS of that particular scene. But the special effects are improved a bit over the original movie, likely due to the doubling of the budget. Now if they'd gotten double the budget, AND Savini back to do the effects, you'd have probably ended up with something really special, rather than just good. The problem is, the shish-kabob sequence is really the bread an butter for the movie, an with it cut, there just aren't all that many effects. Granted, the machete into Tom McBride's face before he goes down the stairs looks fantastic. How they got the dummy to stay put and the chair to keep from tipping over backwards was impressive to say the least. God damn MPAA, get a life for fucks sake. The shooting locations are alright, although I think I like the camp from the first movie better. Realistically, if you've got a camp ground with cabins, it's impossible to screw it up, but some sites will appeal more to certain individuals tastes. I like the first movie's campground better, but in the grand scheme it's really not that important. Good call though, with setting it on the other side of the lake to explain the visual discrepancies. The soundtrack? It's Friday the 13th and Harry Manfredini, the nutbar who's heart's goin' 300 beats per minute all the time, an scores his music accordingly. A Friday the 13th movie not scored by Harry Manfredini is simply missing a crucial part of what makes these movies work, cause the man has a style all his own that nobody else can pull off. That's another part of the whole "make the same movie all over again", his scores are always fresh and new for each movie, but you really don't realize it unless you actually listen to it, which kinda takes the emphasis off of when the heads are gonna roll so it's not recommended until you've seen it four or five times. Bottom line, improved over the original movie. Something sequels pretty much never do, though there are a few other examples. A solid entry in the series, check it out.

Rating: 76%