Ginger Snaps

They don't call it the curse for nothing.

Year of Release: 2000
Genre: Horror/Drama
Rated: Unrated
Running Time: 108 minutes (1:48)
Director: John Fawcett


Emily Perkins ... Brigitte
Katharine Isabelle ... Ginger
Kris Lemche ... Sam
Mimi Rogers ... Pamela
Jesse Moss ... Jason
Danielle Hampton ... Trina
John Bourgeois ... Henry
Nick Nolan ... Creature / Gingerwolf
Lucy Lawless ... Announcer on School's PA System (voice) (uncredited)


Ginger and Brigitte, two sisters trapped in suburbia, are obsessed with mayhem, torture and death until they get a taste of the real thing. Bitten by a wild animal, Ginger begins to mature into a sexy, uncontrolled woman, with some nasty canine tendencies. Is it a virus? Is it a curse? Or the first step towards becoming a vicious werewolf!


Ginger Snaps, reminding us all that becoming a woman is pretty much like becoming a werewolf. I mean think about it, both situations result in periodic bloodlettin', horrible muscle expansions/contractions an a general desire to mutilate all of mankind beyond recognition. Or at least those people that make tampon slogans like "have a happy period." I ain't even a woman an I wouldn't mind seein' those people torn limb from limb by crabby women with eyes that're so bloodshot they look like one of those plasma nebula balls they sell at Spencer's Gifts. Seriously though, that first werewolf that attacked Katharine Isabelle at the beginnin' of the movie got pretty lucky, actually. I mean her period had only hit about 5 minutes before she gets snatched up an chewed on like a rawhide chew toy so she was still in that sleepy stage that happens when it first hits. That werewolf grabs 'er on 'er way to school on say day 2 an that fight prolly ends with the werewolf gettin' its werewang ripped off an stuffed in the pencil sharpener. But this movie's really pretty good once you give it a chance, in fact if you were to combine the awesomeness of Ginger Snaps an Dog Soldiers you've prolly got enough positive PR there to combat the damage that the Twilight series inflicted upon the werewolf sub-genre. Okay maybe not that much, but it's pretty close.

This movie really depresses the crap outta Bob Barker though an I prolly don't have to explain why but I've gotten to where I really like the sound of my own voice so I'ma tell you anyway. The man spent 35 years on The Price is Right dealin' with ecstatic fat middle aged home makers who get up on stage an say things like: "my name is Delores, I'm from Des Moines, Iowa an I have 4 beautiful children with my husband of 28 years who couldn't be here today cause the idea of bein' in a car with me for 14 hours straight made 'im start pricin' handguns in the Cabela's catalog." Then at the end of the show what does Bob always say? Of course, Bob tells us all to be sure to help control the animal population an to have our pets spayed or neutered, but for all Bob's concern it ain't done diddly. Now I realize that if Ginger's parents had taken the initiative to get this situation taken care of she'da prolly ended up hangin' around the house all day sleepin' an gettin' fat but at least she wouldn't be out roamin' around town spreadin' lycanthropy like herpes in a frat house an gettin' knocked up with litters upon litters of werepups that, lets face it, are prolly gonna starve to death since Ginger ain't exactly top heavy if you follow me. That's to say nothin' about what happens when the doggystyle isn't satisfactory. Now I realize that I really shouldn't have to make an appeal to the parents here cause just doin' what's best for Ginger aughta be enough, but apparently that wasn't the case. Now, "grown ups," isn't it embarrassin' havin' Ginger rub 'er backside against the company's knee cap til you end up havin' to swat 'er with a rolled up newspaper an put 'er in the pet porter? It is isn't it? Kinda ruins the whole Bar Mitzvah don't it? This really is the only decent thing to do, not just for yourselves, but for your pets as well, so THIS TIME, lets maybe give Bob's words a little thought before switchin' over to $25,000 Pyramid, alright? Man I hope I don't have to go over this again, it's so demeaning.

Anyway, as one of only a handful of decent modern werewolf movies, I think it's imperative that we take a look at some of the more insightful topics Ginger Snaps has to offer. Seriously now, pay attention, this is possibly the best thing to happen to the werewolf sub-genre since Sybil Danning's rip away bra in The Howling II. First, you really don't need silver to kill a werewolf, that's just an old wives tale. A chrome plated grille bein' pushed along by 190 horse power at 55mph is generally enough to turn your average werewolf into that thing you pulled outta the shower drain last week. Second, teenage girls that enter into death pacts, create Tom Savini-esque special effects in their spare time, an whose sisters end up goin' werewolf on 'em are still afraid to be seen at school with a guy that's high on the ganj. I guess you've gotta draw the line somewhere. An third, if your mother finds out you an your sister killed the prom queen an buried 'er under the garage an decides she wants to blow up the house with your Dad inside so you can get a fresh start somewhere else, take your chances with the werewolf sister. At least you can grasp the depths of her depravity without the aid of one of those plumbin' snakes.

Now, good as this movie is, there is one aspect of it that really makes me facepalm. I can't believe I'm havin' to do still another public service announcement for people but it's clear these writers don't know the first thing about lady werewolf tail tuckin'. Is it too much to expect that people realize the tail aughta be tucked straight down through the ass crack? I mean, why is this not the default solution? It fits perfectly, doesn't protrude, an if it's long enough to wrap all the way around the front to the hoo-ha, it eliminates camel toe. Now if you're one of those prudes that finds it creepy or unsanitary to tuck your tail between your labia flaps, you can always tuck it down one of your pant legs startin' at about taint level. HOWEVER, if you choose to do this, and I cannot stress this point enough, wear baggy pants. If you fail to heed this advice an wear spandex you'll terrify every man you encounter an end up bein' hit on relentlessly by lesbians and Pat Robertson. Either of those tuckin' styles is perfectly sensible, the last thing you wanna do is what Ginger does in the movie an try tuckin' it into 'er underwear diagonally across one butt cheek so that it just pokes out the far end of the panties. Not only do you end up squirmin' around in school all day lookin' like you shoulda used Preparation H cause you're crushin' your tail, but the elastic band on the panties ends up cuttin' off the circulation to the tip til it's number'n Joan Rivers' face. I don't think these guys were even TRYIN' to imagine what it'd be like to have a tail, it's kinda frustratin' to see such a lapse in detail on an important issue like this, ya know? Details guys. De-tails, they're important.

The movie begins in the suburbs where a mother's rakin' leaves in the back yard while 'er little boy plays in the sandbox. Incidentally, this same little boy wouldn't let George W. Bush play in the box with 'im an Dubya was last seen stompin' off talkin' about findin' a way bigger an better sandbox of his own to play in. Only after the kid stops makin' noise the mother goes to see why an finds the kid playin' with a severed dog's paw an runs around the corner to find the family pooch mangled worse than the English language in a teenager's text messages an starts screamin' to high heaven about how "it" got 'er beloved dog. To be fair, you helped quite a bit by leavin' the dog chained up outside when you knew there was an "it" on the loose, lady. The hysteria is overheard by a neighbor girl (Brigitte) who heads back inside about as affected as a CEO after a mass layoff an mentions it in passing to 'er sister (Ginger) who's daydreamin' about how pussified people that cut their wrists are as she tinkers with a kitchen knife. When she goes, she's gonna slit 'er throat cause that's what all the uncool kids're doin' these days, but she thinks Brigitte totally aughta hang 'erself. I mean, it's not what *she'd* do, but it totally works for Brigitte. Seems these two rays of sunshine've entered into a death pact wherein, if they're not part of a gothic metal band an outta their podunk town by age 16, they're gonna kill 'emselves so all the popular kids at school can finally sort out the dead pool they've got goin'. Then all the sudden the credits roll an we're watchin' a montage of still photos an excerpts from gore effects videos they've made of themselves gettin' shish-kabobed an eviscerated so they can send the tape to Tom Savini beggin' for an apprenticeship. Once the footage ends it's revealed that all this was bein' displayed in a classroom an while the students seemed to enjoy it, the teacher's got this look on his face like somebody just mashed his pet goldfish with a ball peen hammer an sends 'em to the school counselor. Yeah great idea, now the counselor's gonna need a counselor. Anyway, a little later the girls're outside on a playin' field smokin' while the normal kids set up for Canadian rules golf, when they're overheard describin' the prom queen's conformity an general shallowness in great detail. Eep. So they line up for the tee off, or face off or whatever the canucks call it an pretty quick Brigitte ends up gettin' cross checked right onto the corpse of a dog an Ginger gets up in Queenie's face an tells 'er if she ever touches Brigitte again she's gonna land the starrin' role in their next snuff film.

So while Brigitte gets a few hundred moist towelettes from the janitor to scrub the Fido shrapnel off 'erself Ginger suggests revenge. Stabby, murdery revenge if possible. So they start doin' the creep once class is over, watchin' Queenie, tryin' to figure out how best to shove her majesty's scepter right up 'er royal ass, when they spot 'er dog. Now all they gotta do is kidnap it an make it up to look like one of Michael Vick's pets after a tough one in the loss column an Queenie'll fall apart quicker'n a McDonald's extra value meal. Then Ginger has to shoot down one of the creepers that hangs around the football field all day usin' nipple erection length as a makeshift thermometer before they head home. At dinner, the creepiest mother since Desiree Gould in Sleepaway Camp starts harassin' Ginger about the details of 'er back pain an practically creams 'er drawers with glee when she diagnoses Ginger's intense pain as a likely precursor to 'er first period. Not surprisingly, this theory goes over like a crucifix in a mosque an the girls bail on dinner while Mom cites Dad's lack of enthusiasm for discussin' menstruation while eatin' Prego spaghetti sauce as the cause of the girls' departure. But Mom's dementia an general lack of tact has now afforded the girls an opportunity to head out an snatch Queenie's dog, but en route to Queenie's castle they find another dog that's been hacked into Korean Lean Cuisine. Then Brigitte notices some seepage on Ginger's leg an tells 'er she's got Cujo-juice on 'er an Ginger gets this look on 'er face like she's thinkin' "if only." Then all the sudden Ginger gets snatched up by a stray worg an carried out into the Black Hills forest while Brigitte tries followin' the screams, only she don't really know what to do cause up to this point Ginger's generally done all the thinkin' for 'er. About that time Brigitte gets cross checked for the second time in one day by Ginger who's momentarily escaped J.P Worgen, before bein' taken down an gnawed on like a rawhide chew toy. Brigitte ends up makin' like a paparazzi an blindin' the thing with 'er camera so they can make a break for it, only to be narrowly missed by a van barrelin' down a nearby road a short distance away. The beast is not so lucky, as the van splatters it all over the highway like a Japanese subway jumper. So while the driver (Queenie's drug dealer) examines the meat puddle to figure out just what he's supposed to put on his insurance forms, the girls make it home only to find that Ginger's wounds're closin' 'emselves up quicker'n a tofu restaurant in the deep south.

The next day, the Gore Gore Girls go tampon shoppin' so Ginger'll have somethin' other than 'er underpants to absorb the red sea an once she quits skulkin' around all hunched over like Quasimodo the creepy voyeur from school (Jason) comes up behind 'er in the check out line an tells 'er he's got some friends an a van outside if she wants to go recreate the basement skits from That 70s Show. So while Ginger's in the van makin' 'er eye color match the stain in 'er drawers, Brigitte notices the dire wolf shaped dent in the van's grille an asks the dealer (Sam) what he hit. With the van, I mean, ain't nobody got time for that other list. His response, only half jokingly, was that it looked like a lycanthrope, but before he can go into greater detail he hears the Reefer Madness goin' on in the back of his van an kicks everybody the heck outta there before they get the munchies an try eatin' his upholstery. Then Queenie shows up with 'er pooch which immediately goes ape shit tryin' to eat Ginger's face til she ends up kickin' it in the chops an runnin' for the safety of the ladies room. Once there, she shows Brigitte that she's got hair where there was no hair before an starts whinin' about how she don't wanna turn into a French chick. But that's the least of 'er problems cause then they notice the pool of blood formin' on the floor below 'er dirty bits an decide they'd better go see the nurse. The nurse is one of those insufferably pleasant people (read: Canadian) that make you wanna strangle 'em with their own pony tail, an she tells Ginger without ever hidin' 'er perpetual glee that eruptin' like Kilimanjaro the first time is perfectly normal an to enjoy these complimentary condoms. That evening, Mom's located a pair of Ginger's shorts in the laundry that're bloodier than the climax of Dead Alive an so makes a cake to commemorate Ginger's ascension into womanhood an Ginger shoots Brigitte the "snitches get stitches" look as they excuse themselves from the table. Brigitte assures Ginger she didn't tell, but with that said, she's a little concerned about 'er hangin' with guys she used to loathe, growin' chest hair, an draggin' 'er butt across the rug when she thinks nobody's lookin'. Ginger's P.O.'d, so she storms out an starts spendin' all 'er time at school rollin' around the football field with Jason while Brigitte broods alone watchin' old Lon Chaney Jr. movies an readin' those "so you've become a sinner" pamphlets the Catholics hand out in the family planning center. Then one night she creeps over to Ginger's bed an notices she's sproutin' a tail an that pretty much tears it, she cannot sit idly by an allow 'er sister to turn into the world's only furry that doesn't require a costume. There's only one man who can help 'er now, cause you've just about gotta be fucked up on drugs to take this story seriously.

So Brigitte goes to talk to Sam at his greenhouse where they can kick a few ideas around an after a while he gives Brigitte his earring an tells 'er it cured 'im after his unlicensed piercer buddy gave 'im gangrene of the earlobe. Then Brigitte goes to try an talk to Ginger only she's too busy tryin' to fetch Jason's stick an eventually they drive off an park on the side of the road an Ginger ends up goin' rape ape on 'im an chewin' up his socks afterward. Later that night she sneaks in through the doggie door an once she gets to 'er bed she starts whimperin' like 'er food dish is empty til Brigitte asks if she's alright. But Ginger gets up an heads for the crapper without answerin' an so Brigitte figures she's just needs a drink to compose 'erself, only when she walks in Ginger's covered in blood an blowin' chunks. So Brigitte asks if she needs to go outside an eat some grass an Ginger explains that she's got this ache that she thought would go away once she got some doggystyle action, but apparently it's only satisfied by tearin' the hearts outta livin' things. Huh. Maybe Taylor Swift is a werewolf, that'd explain a lot, actually. It's just as well though, that little yapper dog the neighbor had was a menace to the sleep schedules of residents for a five block radius. Then Brigitte decides to pierce Ginger's belly button with Sam's earring to see what'll happen an Ginger flops around like a harpooned whale til Brigitte can get it through. So basically, Ginger's been penetrated twice tonight an it was the piercin' that lasted longest an generated the greater reaction. So the next day at school Brigitte helps Ginger tape 'er tail to 'er leg so nobody'll think she's got a butt boner goin' an then everybody lines up for some more field hockey. Only Queenie's gotten real pissy about Sam talkin' to the proletariat subjects of 'er kingdom an when Brigitte fails to take 'er slut shamin' with good humor they end up rollin' around on the ground til Ginger grabs Queenie by the face an proceeds to undo daddy's thousand dollar nose job with a series of exquisite haymakers. So while Ginger's gettin' the "this is not how Canadians behave" speech from the principal, Jason can't help but notice the steady stream of blood while he's usin' the facilities an freaks out cause he thinks he's caught a menstruation cycle from Ginger an has to try to pretend like his red pen exploded for the rest of the day. I bet he pretended like he didn't have time to get his clothes into the dryer when he pissed 'imself in elementary school too. So after the principal gets done yellin' at Ginger about the money it's gonna cost the school to fix Queenie's face, Brigitte calmly an rationally explains to 'er that 'er skanky ass done gave the werewolf skank to Jason.

Ginger ain't real concerned about it though an Brigitte makes Ginger promise not to pee on the carpet while they're consultin' Sam about their situation. Sam thinks there's a plant that might cure the problem, but it only grows in the spring time an Canada ain't had once of those for about 4 billion years, back when the Earth was nothin' but a ball of molten rock. Ginger thinks the plan's all bullshit, despite the fact that the man's clearly got an extensive knowledge of herbs, an storms out after tellin' Brigitte that the most mellow guy in town is prolly gonna rape 'er the moment she leaves. Yeesh, guy's too stoned to even bother gettin' up to grab a bag of Cheetos outta the kitchen, come on now. Later on, Ginger's in the bath shavin' 'er sasquatchian legs when she notices she's sproutin' a dewclaw; about that time Mom walks in unannounced an Ginger has to pretend like she's got an eatin' disorder so she'll leave. Man that's gross, would it be considered insider tradin' if she was to buy a whole buncha Norelco stock right about now? I guess it's prolly not too important. Meanwhile, Brigitte's wanderin' around the back yard when Queenie shows up an demands that they return 'er dog an then starts trailin' off about how Sam don't love 'er cause he only likes superficial airheads with intact hymens. But pretty quick Ginger comes out an puts Queenie in a headlock, drags 'er inside the house, an tells Brigitte she's gonna kill Queenie an bury 'er in the backyard with the rest of 'er bones cause she picked Sam over her in clear violation of the sisters before misters statute of the women's charter. Then Queenie pukes on Ginger's hand an is able to grab a kitchen knife while Ginger's grossed out, but before she can do anything she slips on a puddle of milk that toppled in all the chaos an whacks 'er head on the counter on the way down. What a drama queen, ain't no sense in dyin' over spilled milk. Unfortunately, this is the moment their parents choose to come home an they quickly get rid of the body an plop Ginger down in the bloody pool an start stagin' an impromptu photo session so the parents'll think nothins amiss. But then Mom goes to dump the prime rib they were out buyin' in the freezer an Brigitte gets this look on 'er face like a dominatrix that's gone home for the night an just remembered she left a client hooked up to a car battery an asks Mom the unthinkable. She asks what boys want. It's the only question that'd be completely certain to keep 'er from lookin' inside the freezer an findin' Queenie chillin' with the cookie dough ice cream. Next thing we see Mom's finishin' up the speech an you can tell she told 'er the truth cause she looks real depressed an once she leaves Ginger an Brigitte proceed to chip Queenie's corpse free from the frozen peas an Banquet TV dinners she's now become fused to an start draggin' 'er out to the garage.

Dad thinks they're up to somethin' cause unless hell or somebody they killed froze over there's no way they'd ask for mother's advice on anything. Course Mom ignores this theory cause it doesn't jive with the reality she's created for 'erself. Then Ginger an Brigitte start diggin' a hole under the floorboards in the garage an Brigitte tells Ginger she's grounded an that she thinks she saw a gopher poke its head outta the ground, to trick 'er into diggin' faster. So the next day, Brigitte forges a sick note from Mom an heads for the principal's office, but en route she gets grabbed by Jason an forced into the janitor's closet. Jason's filthy, an in serious need of a flea bath, but what's got him the most upset is that he's pretty much lost control of 'imself an spent the previous night rippin' his dog to pieces an chasin' cars for fun. Then the janitor shows up lookin' for some urinal cakes an Jason takes off like he just got the yearly vaccine reminder in the mail an Brigitte wanders away like nothin' weird was goin' on. Unfortunately, the principal's aware that Mom dunno any polysyllabic words so when he got the note about Ginger he called home to check out the story, an the cops would also like a word with 'er since she was last seen knockin' all the teeth outta the girl who's now missin'. It's no wonder Ginger's so god damn thin, I don't think she's finished dinner once in this movie. But anyway, once Ginger takes off Mom grabs Brigitte an demands that somebody pretend to respect 'er authority. So Brigitte tells 'er about the fight Ginger had with Queenie an HOLY CRAP IS THAT WOLFSBANE? Seems Mom managed to secure by accident what probably could have saved a couple lives if Brigitte had been able to swallow 'er pride an enter a crafts store, cause that's the herb Sam needs to brew up the fullmoonshine that'll fix Ginger. So Brigitte promises to become the ideal Malibu Barbie that Mom keeps tellin' 'erself she'll eventually blossom into an goes to tell Ginger the good news, only when she finds 'er she's in the can tryin' to bob 'er own tail an Brigitte has to rub 'er belly an get 'er leg kickin' like crazy til she'll let go of the knife. The next morning, Ginger gets up an heads for the can, but once she's inside the door suddenly changes from an inward swingin' door into an outward swinger an Brigitte plants a 2x6 under the knob so Ginger can't get out an bite the mailman. Ginger is P.O.d, but Brigitte tells 'er she's got the herb an she's gonna get Sam to cook 'er up some werewolf meth so Ginger'll quit leavin' hair all over the furniture. So Sam cooks up the cure an tells Brigitte she's gotta inject it, but he dunno how much cause of all the variables like body mass, metabolism, an the fact that up until about a week ago werewolves didn't exist.

He also tells 'er it may kill 'er, an that if that happens there ain't no refunds, but even so, at least she'll be out of 'er misery. She needs to be able to run free, an bein' locked in the bathroom with nothin' to do but tear up the shower curtain is just no way for 'er to go through life. Unfortunately, by the time Brigitte gets home the big bad wolf's huffed an puffed an blew the bathroom door clean off the hinges an gone to school where she's flashin' all four sets of 'er teats at Jason's friends. Then professor killjoy comes around the corner an has to give 'er a stern talkin' to, or get a private screening, it's hard to say with teachers these days. Meanwhile, Brigitte's runnin' as fast as 'er little legs an smoker's lungs'll carry 'er towards the school when she runs into Jason who's pretty much lookin' like Teen Wolf at this point an decides to test the vaccine on 'im after he takes 'er down an starts lickin' 'er face like Dino does to Fred Flintstone. Once he quits twitchin' like a squirrel that bit into a TV cable, he gets up an immediately heads for home to try an scrub the lingering flavor of other dogs' butts offa his nose an Brigitte continues on, confident that she'll now be able to get Ginger back under control. So once she gets to school she stops outside professor buzzkill's door an is immediately jerked inside by Ginger who's torn the teacher to shreds like Michael Vick at a PETA rally. By now, Brigitte's patience is gettin' stretched pretty thin, an if she wouldn't like it so much she'd prolly swat Ginger with a newspaper an rub 'er nose in the mess, but she manages to calmly suggest that they wait til everyone's gone, clean up the gore, an sneak out. Meanwhile, Dad finds a couple severed fingers while he's out in the yard an starts freakin' out til Mom slaps 'im around like Zsa Zsa Gabor an tells 'im they're just props from the girls' Greg Nicotero audition videos an to quit bein' such a pantywaist. But after takin' a closer look Mom's a little skeptical that they could pull off anything this convincin' with their shoe string budgets an puts the fingers in a tupperware container an then the fridge. Elsewhere, Brigitte thinks the coast is clear an ventures outta the teacher's office in search of enough club soda to get all the stains outta the carpet. Ginger piddled on it too, though, that's kind of a secondary concern at the moment. But while she's out burglin' the janitor's toolbox, the janitor tries goin' in the teacher's office an Ginger ends up openin' up his face like a Christmas present an by the time Brigitte gets back Ginger's ping pongin' 'im between the lockers in the hallway til she uses his head to bust out the glass on the "break in case of werewolf bitches" fire extinguisher case.

Ginger explains that he'd found 'er an that she had no choice, though she'da prolly done it anyway cause apparently killin' is like immaculate masturbation an that Brigitte aughta consider joinin' the Westminster Kennel Club too. But Brigitte tells 'er there's no way in hell she's gonna consent to havin' doggie breath an she's just about had it with this little game of Who's Afraid of Virginger Wolf? they've been playin' the last couple days. So Ginger ends up gettin' offended an tellin' 'er to fuck off an that she's gonna go get knocked up with a litter of Sam's bastard puppies now just to spite 'er. Elsewhere, Mom's playin' CSI: Winnipeg in the garage, an after findin' Queenie's corpse she jumps in the van an grabs Brigitte who's now runnin' down the side of the road towards Sam's place, an after Mom passes 'er Queenie's perfectly manicured fingers she has to start doin' some serious 'splainin'. Mom can sympathize though, I mean, when she was a kid she was burnin' 'er bras with the other girls so she knows what it's like to be a rebel. Course, she had to buy one specifically to burn, but the sentiment was still there. Anyway, Mom thinks it's about time they torched the house, faked their deaths, an moved on to some new digs anyway, she's heard Saskatoon is nice this time of year. So then Mom sends Brigitte inside Sam's party to find Ginger, which she does, on the floor of Sam's room, havin' been shoved off after she wouldn't quit humpin' Sam's leg. Then Brigitte slashes open 'er hand an gets Ginger's slobber in the wound to convince 'er she wants to be pack mates with 'er an proceeds to drag 'er towards the van, only Sam heads 'em off at the back door an brains Ginger with a shovel an Brigitte has to flip out on 'im for bein' chivalrous. Like he was just supposed to know she had a plan or something. So they load 'er up into Sam's van an halfway back to the house you can tell that Brigitte's already startin' to go cause she's got 'er head stickin' outta the window. Unfortunately, about that time Ginger wakes up an thinks she's been captured by canine patrol an starts hulkin' out so that by the time they get to the house she's gone full werewolf an busts outta the van before runnin' inside lookin' to snarf down the entire bag of milk bones. Brigitte an Sam follow an camp out in the kitchen pantry to cook up some more medicine so they can get everybody vaccinated. Once it's finished, they devise a plan, wherein they lure Ginger into the livin' room with Beggin' Strips an once she's got 'er head in the bag far enough that she can't see anything, they stick 'er. But about that time Ginger busts through the pantry door an starts tearin' Sam's arm off so she can play fetch with it as Brigitte heroically cowers in the dark. Eventually, Brigitte creeps out, grabs the somehow undamaged syringe offa the floor, an goes lookin' for the den mother all by 'er lonesome.

Alrighty... Christ on a crutch that took too long, I apologize. I really wasn't tryin' to put you to sleep like an activity room TV in an old folks home, that was just an unfortunate side effect of tryin' to relay all the relevant information. This movie, somehow, manages to not only be 1:45 in length, which is a little longer than most movies I review, but it also doesn't have an ounce of padding. You know how most movies drag in the middle? Well this one doesn't drag anywhere, and not only that, it doesn't even linger for dramatic effect like those artsy movies where it's obvious the director's just trying to burn a specific scene into the audience's minds to make sure he'll get another job somewhere down the road. Those are parts where I'm generally able to cut things out that aren't relevant to the movie, but there's NOTHING in this movie that isn't relevant to the story. Seriously, I took more notes on this one movie than I did in four years of high school, it's kinda pathetic now that I'm thinkin' about it. So for those of you that're now comatose and bein' kept alive by a machine, I really do apologize.

Anyway, what we've got here is a serious anomaly. First of all, werewolf movies generally don't leave much of an impression on me, and even then, that wasn't even possible until The Howling. So when they do leave an impression, it's unusual. Second, it's a good movie made in a year that doesn't start with 19, so that's another thing that pretty much requires the planets, stars, and all 4 wheels on a 1974 Gremlin to be perfectly aligned. And third, this movie has ZERO CGI. This kinda thing simply doesn't happen cause as far as I can tell nobody wants to make a horror movie that's worth a damn anymore, but credit where it's due, the director, John Fawcett refused to use CGI, and thus, John Fawcett made a good, modern, horror film. Good for you, John. The guy generally does TV, so it may be his only claim to fame when everything's said and done, but he's already made more good horror movies than Uwe Boll and Claudio Fragasso combined, so what the heck. Couple interesting tidbits before going into the in-depth dissection, Natasha Layonne was actually offered the role of Ginger but turned it down. I liked Katharine Isabelle and wouldn't see her replaced, but I can actually see Layonne being really good in a role like this too. Also, the scheduling apparently required a lot of day shots to be done at night, so the crew brought in a gigantic 18 kilowatt lighting system that was so bright that passing airplanes could see it. I'll bet that went over well with the neighbors. And perhaps most amusing is the fact that the house where the sisters' gore effects were being shot was occupied by a small child, so anytime the actresses had to come inside and change their clothes somebody on the crew would be stuck with toddler wrangling duty so it wouldn't become psychologically traumatized an end up on the news with old ladies talkin' about how "he was such nice young man" after bein' arrested for mutilating small animals.

Okay then, lets shave off all the hair on this thing an see what a werewolf with mange looks like. The overall plot honestly isn't all that special, it's the little details that make it special. The situations, the black humor, and most importantly, the writing, is where this movie really excels. The werewolf premise has been done to death, but they put a lot of new twists on it that really revitalizes an old concept. There've certainly been werewolf movies in the past that feature women in the lead roles, but none that I can recall which feature female teenagers. And there aren't a lot of other titles in this sub-genre that feature a day by day study of somebody actually becoming a werewolf. Generally you've got normal people that turn into George Steele when the moon is full. There're several other little scenarios like this that play off of the existing cinematic mythology, but that branch off in their own directions as well. The character development is another extremely important aspect, because the writers went into great detail to not only make the characters interesting, but to establish a powerful bond between the two that gives the movie a degree of emotional depth that most horror movies tend to lack. The acting is very good as well, with Perkins and Isabelle playing off each other as well as any other acting duo you'll ever see in a horror film. They are the emphasis, and there aren't many other characters that're of any major importance, but the supporting cast is strong as well. Danielle Hampton does a nice job as the self-important prom queen, and Kris Lemche is pretty entertaining as the world's most well studied dope dealer. No big name actors, but here's who matters and why: Emily Perkins (Blood: A Butchers Tale, Ginger Snaps 2 & 3, Stephen King's IT), Katharine Isabelle (Torment 2013, Vampire 2011, 30 Days of Night: Dark Days, Hard Ride to Hell, Ogre, Ginger Snaps 2 & 3, Freddy vs. Jason, Carrie 2002, Bones, Disturbing Behavior), Kris Lemche (The Frankenstein Theory, Final Destination 3, eXistenZ), Jesse Moss (Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, The Uninvited 2009, Final Destination 3), Peter Keleghan (Manson My Name is Evil, Trilogy of Terror II), Christopher Redman (Screamers: The Hunting, Bless the Child), Pak-Kwong Ho (Mimic), Steven Taylor (Dead Silence, The White Dog Sacrifice), Joey Paul Gowdy (Detention of the Dead, Constantine). Normal people may recognize John Bourgeois as Sargeant John Broderick from Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, and Christopher Redman as Michael Travers from CSI: Miami. And Lucy "Warrior Princess" Lawless as the voice that comes over the intercom at the high school. At least she didn't make that noise like she's got a concubine down below hittin' the sweet spot like she did in the TV series.

The special effects are really good as well. Odd, it's almost as if a guy in a suit is capable of creating a believable representation of a monster without using a computer to create ridiculously impossible animesque body movements to wow a bunch of imbeciles that couldn't care less if something looks real so long as they've got something to occupy their time. Now compare the effects here to say, Underworld, which was made 3 years later and features CGI out the ass. Pretty obvious as to which one looks like a movie rather than a poorly rendered PS2 game, but which one has the higher IMDB rating... of course it does. Underworld. And, with six times as many viewers no less. So that is in fact what most people think makes a good movie. This is why you won't see me review many movies past the 1990s. But anyway, the werewolf creature is great here. You've also got all the effects shots the sisters create of themselves including mower massacres, hangings, fence impalements, rake impalements, and floating bathtub corpses, all of which look good. Plus a shredded teacher and a mangled janitor. The one thing that's not quite on the level of "good" would be the chest appliance on Isabelle when she's about half werewolf. It reflects a bit too much light, making it obvious it's plastic or latex, but overall, nearly all the special effects are superb. The shooting locations range from mundane to fairly interesting, though the really important locations really aren't my thing. The big two are the sister's room and the school, which are fine, just not that interesting. My favorite setting would be the playground with the forest in the background where Isabelle is initially chewed on by the beast. That was a very well photographed sequence with a lot of atmosphere, even if it kinda rips Blair Witch a little. The soundtrack is pretty good as well. Most of the tracks don't stand out, but that's the idea. They blend so well with the visuals you don't even notice them unless you're specifically listening specifically for them and the visuals blend seamlessly with the scoring. Though the opening track that plays during the credits is particularly memorable with a great usage of stringed instruments. It's also got quite a few decent metal songs that play briefly during appropriate moments. Overall, Ginger Snaps is probably a top 10 horror movie released between the year 2000 and the present (2013), and one that's easy to recommend even blind. Check it out.

Rating: 83%