This time, luck has nothing to do with it!
Year of Release: 1994
Running Time: 85 minutes (1:25)
Director: Rodman Flender
Warwick Davis ... The Leprechaun
Charlie Heath ... Cody
Shevonne Durkin ... Bridget
Sandy Baron ... Morty
Adam Biesk ... Ian
James Lancaster ... William O'Day
Kimmy Robertson ... Tourist's Girlfriend
Clint Howard ... Tourist
Tony Cox ... African-American Leprechaun
Michael McDonald ... Waiter
A thousand years ago, the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) left a bloody trail when he ripped through the countryside in search of his stolen pot of gold. Now he's back in the big city using all of his deadly tricks to snare the girl of his nightmares. His bloody quest becomes more deadly when her boyfriend steals one of the Irish monster's precious gold coins. The town soon discovers two dead bodies and a trail of gold dust leads them to the Leprechaun's lair.
It's a pot full O'blood, guts and horror as the Leprechaun goes on a wild rampage filled with grisly thrills and gruesome special effects.
Leprechaun 2's got some important rules that'll make your life and mine a lot easier, and less dangerous, if we'll only take the time to review them and consider the ramifications of not following them. Golden rules. So listen up before it's too late. Rule the first, never reveal weaknesses. If Lil' Nasty hadn't told his treacherous slave how to prevent him from taking control over his would be bride, this movie would have been 5 minutes instead of 85 minutes. Don't trust anyone with information that can come back to bite you, no matter how safe it may seem. Rule the second, if you have a disagreement with a woman an she changes her stance in under a day, be suspicious. Be VERY suspicious. The next thing you know you're trying to motor boat her, only her breasts boat motor your face. Don't think it can't happen to you. Rule the third, they say revenge is a dish best served cold, but blazingly hot works just as well. And rule the fourth, never wear anything of value that you can't easily remove. Some people don't let petty things like intense pain separate them from separating your valuables from you. Valuable as all those lessons are, there's something better, something meaningful. Ever heard the song "Kristy, Are you Doing Okay?" by The Offspring? The chorus of that song goes "Don't waste your whole life trying to get back what was taken away." And even though the Leprechaun predates the song by some 2014 years, it's a piece of advice that really could have saved him a lot of time and effort. Not to mention 1000 years of blue balls. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them to, an it's critical that you move on. There are lots of other women out there, but he just couldn't let his grudge go, an it ended up getting the better of him. An for what? Even if he could have gotten her to settle down with him she'd probably have given him the ole "we're just too different" line 5 or 6 years down the road, left him, an taken half his gold an his tree anyway. His lust for revenge got the better of him, an he not only wasted his 1000 year wait on a woman because he thought he could change her, but it ultimately cost him everything he had. He wasted his whole life trying to get back what was taken away, he deserved better than this, but now it's too late. Don't make the same mistake.
So Leprechaun the second opens with a furry faced man running through the woods like an atheist in the deep south. But just before he can make it to the border of Florida, and safety, something puts the force choke on him an he starts clawing at his neck like all the lice in his beard suddenly formed a militia an started an uprising against the ruling jugular. We hear an evil chuckle and to our surprise it's not the Southern Baptists he's fleeing, but our guy, Lil Nasty. Warwick (The Leprechaun) releases the force choke an the lice become docile once more an go back to grazing. Warwick slaps the guy around a little but he's generally in high spirits because today is his 1000th birthday an not only does that mean he's finally older than Strom Thurmond, but he also gets to claim lay to a bride (Yes, that reversal is intentional, think about it). Better still, once he marries and by definition has a new slave, he doesn't need the atheist anymore and will allow him to go free. So Warwick shows the slave the girl he's chosen, but unfortunately, Warwick's chosen the slave's daughter. Even more unfortunately, Warwick told the slave how he was going to enslave the girl an how to prevent it, an just when it seems like Warwick's gonna get to hit that, the slave breaks up the double play an runs like he just came up positive on a paternity test. But Warwick just puts the force choke on him again an lifts him up so high that air traffic control is having to divert planes around him an breaks his neck after giving him a good talkin' to. Then Warwick vanishes so he can get over the RiteAid pharmacy an pick up some Vaseline because, it's gonna be a long thousand years. Elsewhere, the time is now, the place is L.A., an the who is one Cody. Cody is trying to sucker Clint Howard into taking a scary tour in The Tall Man's car, but having grown up with his brother Ron, Clint's heard way too much bullshit to be taken in by Cody's pitch an isn't buying. But Clint's wife really wants to go so he does what every guy does in this situation, he looks at his feet, pays the money, an sits down with that defeated look we've all had at some time or another. After filling up the rest of the hearse with suckers, he an his girlfriend, lets call her Gidget, go looking for his uncle so he can give the tour an they can get back to their kid stuff.
Morty (the uncle) has what you'd call crippling alcoholism, so when Cody finds him at the bar he has to pour ice in the John an give Morty a few swirlies until he's sober enough to realize he's still at least as drunk as the writers were while they were working out the plot an doesn't wanna give the tour. So Cody takes the keys an does the tour in lieu of fun kid stuff, which goes over about as well as a hippy in a logging camp with Gidget, who ditches him when they finally reach the go-cart park. So with Cody's evening pretty well shot to hell, Clint makes it even worse by whining about the production values of the tour an demands to be taken back. The other riders agree, an so does Cody, who mashes the gas pedal so far into the floorboard that he wears the sole of his shoe off on the asphalt. About that time the L.A. police, who you'd think should be more concerned with murders, rapes, armed robberies an Zsa Zsa Gabor passing through town, haul his prepubescent butt down town. Elsewhere, an old rummy is stumbling his way through town when he decides to crash in the park, not all that far from the ruins of Harry Houdini's former dwellings. He finds a comfy spot on the rocky soil an sips contentedly at what is probably the crux of what got him to his station in life an lays it down on the ground. Then the bottle, desperate to get as far away from the rummy's mouth as possible, starts rolling until it comes to rest in the roots of a tree. Warwick's tree. The tree opens up an Warwick steps out an takes a big swig of the bottle an nearly vomits when he realizes the rummy's been drinking his own urine the whole time. Warwick is pissed off. He makes the tree roots go Evil Dead on the rummy an grabs ahold of his gold tooth an yanks on it until it starts making noises like a celery stalk being twisted an finally comes free. Since he was such a good sport, he lets the rummy go free an adds the tooth to his golden hoard. Smaug approves. Back at the police station, Morty's working off his drunk an bailing Cody out of jail when still more cops that're allowing Zsa Zsa to run through town unchecked haul the rummy in, complaining about the poor service he received at Warwick's Painless Dentistry.
Back in town, Warwick's beginning his search for his new woman. He's thrown away his Jergens hand soap an he's ready an rarin' to go, but first he has to tear the finger off some guy that wants to leech off of his good looks. About this time Gidget is being walked home by some douche that wants to get ahold of her goodies. But she likes her goodies without greasy finger prints on em an tells the guy to go find Warwick's Jergens hand soap cause he's not getting any. Then the douche hears Gidget calling for him an apologizing for her behavior an asking if he wants to sample the boobies. Only Warwick's created an illusion an what appears to be a set of honkers is actually a set of facial reconstruction equipment, an the douche gets turned into the Lawn Mowered Man. Then Cody shows up with flowers to smooth everything over but Warwick calls dibs an latches a golden collar around Gidget's neck an looses a rack from the ceiling onto Cody. This is your brain on pots. Then Warwick starts force dragging her over to him so he can get a look at the goodies only she shoves his summoned pot of gold over an a coin rolls all the way into the kitchen an into Cody's hand. Gidget helps Cody up while Warwick's frantically scooping up his life savings an they try to run for it, but Warwick gives Cody a serious case of hammer toe an vanishes back to his pad with Gidget. Cody has sad face. Over at Chateau Warwick, Gidget is not nearly drunk enough for leprechaun sex, so he goes to make her a drink. Then the ingrate clubs him with a rock when he turns around an makes a break for it, only she's blonde an gets distracted easily, so when he catches up to her he sends a flying blanket at her an wraps her up like a burrito an teleports her back to the bedroom so he can put on some Barry White. He dumps the gold out all over her to cater to his gold fetish when he realizes he's missing a coin. The poon can wait. He Usain Bolts outta there an after checking Gidget's house, realizes Cody's got the coin. Elsewhere, Cody's trying to convince Morty about the Leprechaun, but apparently, convincing a drunk about seeing leprechauns is harder than you might think, an it's only when Warwick drops in an shillelaghs Morty in the chops that he comes around. They hightail it out of there an head over to the bar where a St. Patrick's Day party is underway.
This is where Morty does all his profound thinking. Only Warwick shows up before Morty can get drunk enough to formulate a plan an he has to wing it. He uses all the midgets dressed as leprechauns to peer pressure Warwick into drinking enough whiskey to kill the collective livers of Norm Peterson an Dean Martin an before long Warwick starts lookin' about like what you'd expect to see still remaining at the bar around last call. But Warwick's not so blotto that he can't still bust a bottle over Morty's head an wobble out before Cody can catch up with him. Back at Warwick's pad, Gidget's stubbed her toe on a box that's buried in the sandy floor an proceeds to dig it up. Inside she finds some booze, a few pipes, and Warwick's collection of Shamknockers magazine. She also finds an awl, an she figures when Warwick comes home, then they'll see who pokes who. Meanwhile, Warwick's gone into an espresso bar to sober up, but it's getting late an Michael McDonald (the waiter) wants him to pay up so he can get back over to the set of MAD TV. Warwick thinks he's after his gold, which, considering it's the only currency he possesses, is technically accurate, an proceeds to anchor Mike's hand to the bar with a blade an melt his face with the steam from the espresso machine (the skits from MAD TV in which he performs in a diaper alone justify this). While Warwick was clearing the cobwebs, Cody an Morty have had a genius moment an have arrived at the go-cart park. They figure they're gonna borrow the wrought iron (the only thing that can harm a leprechaun) safe an trap the little booger in it until he tells em where he hides his Lucky Charms. Cody props the safe up against the door an taunts Warwick until he gets the clever idea to jump through the doggie door an surprise him, but that was the plan all along an Warwick gets locked in the safe. Warwick screams Attica but they aren't goin for it, so Cody goes to get something to make a ramp to get it into the car when Morty locks him up in the storage room so he can extract wishes from Warwick. To add insult to injury, Morty wishes for Warwick's gold, but if you've ever seen anything with a genie, you know what happens next. Of course. The pot appears in Morty's stomach. It hurts even worse than that time he took the factory tour at Peanut Corporation of America an took home some samples, so he wishes Warwick out, then wishes the gold out. Both wishes are granted but a lack of specificity costs Morty dearly. Cripes this is getting long. Okay, Cody discovers Warwick can't hurt him as long as he's got the coin an he heads to Warwick's place to settle the score.
Looks like once again I'll be in the minority. What else is new. I spend so much time in the minority section I've got my own parking spot, complete with placard. I'll be honest, nostalgia hangs heavy over this one, I may allow that to factor in a bit more than I should, so be forewarned. It would appear the critics of Leprechaun 2 have a panning operation here larger than San Francisco had in 1849. This is actually a zero on Rotten Tomatoes an a 3.8 on IMDB, an while I'd struggle to figure out which site's opinion matters the least, that should still speak volumes to the mainstream public. Not a movie for anyone that hates everything that's not as good as The Godfather. So, what we can determine from these ratings is that there's a pretty high chance that the movie's a lot of fun. Not "good", mind you. Fun. And on this installment of why the movie's fun, (to be "fun" an otherwise bad movie must have sophistication, charm, or heart) this time, I cite sophistication. No matter how hard they pan it, it's clever. It's clever, it has great special effects, amusing one liners, well scouted shooting locations and a great set. I will concede that it lacks some of the charm of the first movie, that likely comes directly from the removal of the over the top comedic content. This sequel is much more subtle with its humor, in the sense that, it's more subtle than watching Warwick Davis pedal a tricycle in fast forward. It's got twice the budget the original had, and yet, I can't figure out where it went. It definitely has more special effects than the original, and Warwick's make up looks a little better, but I really can't tell where it went. Oh, oh, I see it now. They filmed in Los Angeles. Silly people, never film in California unless you're fine with losing half your budget to non value added bullshit. All the scenes where the city are relevant aren't all that important to the plot, they could have been shot anywhere an done just as well. They're not bad, mind you, but they very likely paid through the nose for the privilege of having that first shot in the present day reveal a sign on the side of building that reads "Los Angeles." Additionally, the plot has some rules that seem to have been created completely at random, which can work if your movie is Gremlins, but here it just seems like nonsense.
I very much get the sense that the writers were thinking, "Well, we want the expression 'God bless you' to counteract the spell the leprechaun places upon the girl. Now, what action could cause this expression to be spoken, out of coincidence?" Oh of course, a sneeze. "Well that's pretty anticlimactic, lets make her have to sneeze 3 times." It's obvious the slave collar works whether people sneeze or not, it works on the slave at the beginning of the movie, why do we even need this foolishness? Pro tip: just because it hasn't been done, doesn't mean it should be. That's my big problem with the plot. Assuming that this is not the same leprechaun from the first movie. But apparently there's a lot of debate about whether it's the same leprechaun in all, or just some, of the movies. Obviously we're going to have to rule out him having died in the first one, but when does that stop anything from coming back for a sequel? That's a non issue. Here's the straight fact before we discuss the plausibility of both theories: They didn't give a damn about continuity an made another movie like the first one didn't even happen, using the same character. So yes, in my opinion, it's the same leprechaun, but the studio couldn't be bothered to keep their facts straight. In the first movie, it's a four leaf clover that kills him, but in this, it's wrought iron. In later sequels they kill him two other different ways, so is it a different leprechaun in every single movie? You'll also note that on his go-cart in this movie, he has a clover inside the international "no" symbol. Kinda like, the thing that killed him in the first movie. But why put that in if it's a different leprechaun? Additionally, in the first movie the leprechaun claims to be 600 years old, but in this sequel, he's 2000. There are those who would call that conclusive proof that he can't be the same one. I say, he was just insecure about his age an lying. He's also got a serious cache of gold, of varying item types, which he did not have in the first movie. Oh, but go on to the 3rd movie an it's back to the 100 coins again, so what now? Is he the same in 1 and 3, then different in the others? 2 is actually the only one with this different gold cache. So my suggestion is to stop debating this an just accept the fact that the studio didn't care about continuity an did what they wanted to. It's the same leprechaun.
This inconsistent nonsense aside, I still liked it quite a bit. It's head an shoulders above the other sequels, but not on par with the original. As much as people hate it, you may want to ask yourself what you thought of the original before viewing/buying.